Topic
Broad classification for food & drink.
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A sudden, total mental collapse regarding beverage preference, occurring only under direct social pressure at the bar.
Read full entry →A bold act of social fiction designed to appear like a regular, immediately undone when the barman asks what that actually is.
Read full entry →An obsessive tracking behaviour performed with the same intensity as monitoring a hurricane, over a bag of chips.
Read full entry →A fierce, semi-serious regional dispute over the correct topping for chips that has ended actual friendships.
Read full entry →An unexpected, entirely undeserved cash bonus that briefly makes you feel like the luckiest person alive.
Read full entry →The nationally sanctioned act of drinking lager before 10am purely because the carpet pattern makes it feel like a different timezone.
Read full entry →A frustrating, hunger-inducing standoff where both parties insist they 'don't mind' until everywhere is closed.
Read full entry →The highly convenient forgetting of whose turn it is to go to the bar, always suffered by the person who owes everyone a pint.
Read full entry →The malicious, calorie-dense ingestion of food driven purely by hatred and a desire for dominance over shared resources.
Read full entry →A tragic miscalculation of structural integrity, leaving you with a mouthful of gritty, sweetened sludge.
Read full entry →The utterly foul, lazy act of burying biological waste beneath heavy appliances instead of bending down to pick it up.
Read full entry →A sophisticated pantomime performed in restaurants to trick the waiter into thinking you possess an ounce of culinary knowledge.
Read full entry →The agonizing internal debate over whether to aggressively highlight that you only ate a side salad, or just eat the £80 loss to avoid looking cheap.
Read full entry →A purely theoretical commitment to eating only kale and running 5k, instantly destroyed the moment a coworker brings in doughnuts.
Read full entry →The soul-destroying realization upon entering a sticky-floored establishment that there is no seat, no paper, and the door doesn't lock.
Read full entry →The desperate, half-asleep mental arithmetic where you decide that brushing your hair is less important than eight more minutes of sleep.
Read full entry →The humiliating physical contest between a hungry human and a tightly wound piece of metal, usually ending with a bruised palm and a tea towel.
Read full entry →A cold, damp tomb for ambitious dietary purchases, where celery and carrots slowly decompose into a brown sludge.
Read full entry →A devastating maternal falsehood used to avoid spending money at the drive-thru, culminating in a deeply disappointing meal.
Read full entry →The distinctly British instinct to seek forgiveness from the very person who just assaulted your personal space in a pub.
Read full entry →The horrifying realization at the front of a queue that the establishment is engaged in tax evasion and you only have Apple Pay.
Read full entry →The degrading realization that your hard work and unpaid overtime is being compensated with cheap takeaway food instead of money.
Read full entry →The stealthy, disgusting act of clearing a kitchen surface by violently brushing the debris onto the linoleum for someone else to step on.
Read full entry →An unpaid, HR-enforced nightmare involving terrible sandwiches, forced socialization, and building a raft out of cardboard.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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