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Entries relating to queues.
Suggested home: Shopping & retail / Checkouts & queues
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The uniquely British act of seething with violent indignation while maintaining absolute silence and occasionally tutting.
Read full entry →The furtive act of peering into a public bin to determine if it's full before approaching it with your rubbish, usually to avoid the embarrassment of having to carry it back.
Read full entry →To come to a sudden, dead stop in the middle of a busy pavement to check your phone, consult a map, or simply contemplate existence, creating a human obstacle for everyone behind you.
Read full entry →The sudden inability to remember where your payment method is until the exact moment you need it.
Read full entry →A traffic queue created entirely by people believing there wouldn't be any traffic.
Read full entry →Convincing yourself that millions of other motorists won't have the exact same travel plans.
Read full entry →An unwritten festive cut-off date that every household believes is objectively correct.
Read full entry →A frantic exercise in transferring shopping into bags before becoming an obstruction.
Read full entry →Strategically organising purchases into carrier bags before reaching the checkout.
Read full entry →The overwhelming collapse of groceries caused by checkout staff operating at superhuman speed.
Read full entry →The risky act of abandoning an existing checkout queue in the hope that a newly opened till will move faster.
Read full entry →The deeply unsettling feline habit of locking eyes with absolutely nothing on the ceiling for extended periods of time.
Read full entry →A high-stakes, adrenaline-fueled burst of acceleration to pass agricultural machinery without causing a head-on collision.
Read full entry →A plastic territorial marker aggressively slammed down by a shopper to protect their groceries from touching your offensive loaf of bread.
Read full entry →A deeply humiliating, public broadcasting of your desperate need for artificial stimulants, requiring a 16-year-old to confirm you aren't a child.
Read full entry →An adrenaline spike caused by the immediate, non-consensual threat of viewing a stranger's highly personal or explicit photographs.
Read full entry →The reckless, borderline suicidal deployment of metal cutlery into an active electrical appliance purely for the love of bread.
Read full entry →A brief, intoxicating rush of adrenaline achieved by successfully passing agricultural machinery without causing a head-on collision.
Read full entry →An arrogant, oblivious amble into active traffic by someone wearing noise-canceling headphones who believes they are immortal.
Read full entry →A deeply pretentious footer attached to corporate emails by an HR manager who thinks they are a spiritual guru.
Read full entry →The profoundly arrogant positioning of a German vehicle over a white dividing line to protect it from the peasantry.
Read full entry →A deliberate, highly calculated maneuver by a pet designed to break your ankles and scald your torso.
Read full entry →Recognising, mid-laugh, that a story or joke has already been told once and you're now hearing it for the second time.
Read full entry →Claiming a false resilience to deadlines that collapses entirely the instant a real deadline actually arrives.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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