Managed tag
Entries relating to colleagues.
Suggested home: Work & office / Colleagues & office social life
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Filtered dictionary
The forced participation in workplace jollity, usually involving a Secret Santa and someone's boss doing karaoke.
Read full entry →A cowardly written attack on a colleague's dairy habits, deployed instead of the far simpler option of just asking them.
Read full entry →A non-committal gesture of recognition performed to avoid the crushing social cost of full eye contact with a near-stranger.
Read full entry →The horrifying realisation that you have been mouthing an entire pitch to a silent, judging grid of colleagues.
Read full entry →The painful, throat-straining effort to maintain professional politeness when your body is desperately demanding oxygen.
Read full entry →The brutal, unspoken condemnation of a colleague whose hot beverage preparation methods resemble those of a sociopath.
Read full entry →The defensive regurgitation of phrases like 'leveraging synergies' and 'pivoting offline' to survive a direct question from the boss.
Read full entry →A vicious corporate phrase utilized to publicly shame a coworker who was clearly not paying attention during the meeting.
Read full entry →The chaotic, overlapping chorus of colleagues aggressively informing a boomer that their microphone is turned off.
Read full entry →A sudden, paralyzing dread induced by an incoming corporate message just as you are putting your coat on to leave.
Read full entry →A purely theoretical commitment to eating only kale and running 5k, instantly destroyed the moment a coworker brings in doughnuts.
Read full entry →The selfish managerial habit of booking completely arbitrary time slots to simulate a high-stress, vital work environment.
Read full entry →A weapon of mass destruction delivered via SMS, frantically making you review every mistake you've made in the last decade.
Read full entry →A polite managerial silencing tactic used to stop a difficult topic from being discussed in front of the rest of the team.
Read full entry →The highly tactical, evasive movement across a workspace to prevent being assigned extra work by a roaming superior.
Read full entry →The plague-spreading refusal to work from home, utilized by a martyr who insists on infecting the entire open-plan desk block.
Read full entry →A manipulative request from a friend or coworker that sounds like a five-minute task but actually takes your entire weekend.
Read full entry →A message designed with malicious joy, ensuring the sender's colleagues know they are drinking cocktails while the recipient rots in a cubicle.
Read full entry →The high-stakes art of holding perfectly still and making a weird face on a video call to simulate network failure.
Read full entry →The deeply offensive act of interrupting a colleague's flow by physically appearing in their peripheral vision uninvited.
Read full entry →A heart-stopping notification that shatters your weekend peace, usually beginning with 'Just a quick question...'
Read full entry →The paranoid managerial habit of constantly monitoring communication software to ensure remote workers haven't stepped away to pee.
Read full entry →The excruciating feeling of a boss breathing down your neck to watch you type an email they could have sent themselves.
Read full entry →The slick, sociopathic managerial act of stealing a subordinate's hard work and presenting it to the directors to get a bonus.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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