Managed tag
Entries relating to supermarkets.
Suggested home: Shopping & retail / Checkouts & queues
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Filtered dictionary
A one-sided, entirely futile verbal confrontation between a customer and an unfeeling supermarket robot.
Read full entry →A polite, entirely fraudulent display of comprehension performed to avoid a fifth explanation of what a googly is.
Read full entry →A small, genuine burst of comfort discovered upon realising a beloved cheap shop has survived another economic downturn.
Read full entry →A ceremonial act of verbal outrage at inflation, entirely unaccompanied by any change in actual spending behaviour.
Read full entry →A sudden jolt of financial dread triggered by a single camera flash and an outdated Vauxhall Corsa.
Read full entry →The forced participation in workplace jollity, usually involving a Secret Santa and someone's boss doing karaoke.
Read full entry →A full-body paralysis triggered by a red screen, during which time appears to slow to an absolute standstill.
Read full entry →A fierce, semi-serious regional dispute over the correct topping for chips that has ended actual friendships.
Read full entry →A lost British ritual of standing perfectly still, watching a hatch, hoping today is not the day it comes back 'out of stock'.
Read full entry →A minor supermarket crisis triggered entirely by the machine's inability to identify a vegetable it was explicitly designed to weigh.
Read full entry →The traditional national posture adopted during major tournaments, offering zero actual protection from heartbreak.
Read full entry →A public humiliation device installed in every supermarket designed to summon a single, visibly annoyed member of staff.
Read full entry →A globally recognized falsehood used to buy exactly twenty minutes of grace period while you frantically try to find your keys.
Read full entry →An aggressive, huffing noise designed to guilt the single teenage staff member into rushing over to approve your painkillers.
Read full entry →A tragic display of shopping hubris resulting in a customer dropping a cucumber and crushing a loaf of bread against their chin.
Read full entry →An infuriating power play where a cat insists on bridging the indoor and outdoor worlds to let all the heating out of the house.
Read full entry →A smelly, oppressive burden of domestic negligence that grows stronger every time you pretend you didn't notice the mess.
Read full entry →A disastrous logistical failure at the till, resulting in bread being crushed beneath six pints of milk and a melon.
Read full entry →The exhausting, bicep-burning fight against a rogue supermarket wheel that desires only to crash into the frozen peas.
Read full entry →The principled, furious refusal to invent a new password for a retailer you will literally only use once in your life.
Read full entry →An intense telepathic beam directed at a 17-year-old employee, begging them to clear the red flashing light above your till.
Read full entry →A brightly colored array of mechanical cries for help that the driver completely ignores due to sheer financial terror.
Read full entry →The deeply confusing phenomenon of a coward who refuses to reply to a text but aggressively consumes every piece of content you upload.
Read full entry →A panicked, disorganized clawing of personal items from the counter to avoid holding up the queue of glaring shoppers behind you.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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