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Filtered dictionary
The risky, olfactory evaluation of an expired liquid to determine if you can avoid walking to the corner shop.
Read full entry →The utterly pointless corporate role of intercepting instructions, adding zero value, and demanding updates on progress.
Read full entry →The reckless, unhinged mass deletion of messages, fueled by the hope that if anything was actually important, they will email again.
Read full entry →A completely non-consensual software download that hides all the features you actually liked and replaces them with useless garbage.
Read full entry →A hollow promise to revisit an issue at a later date, usually employed because nobody knows the answer.
Read full entry →The aggressive projection of 'please leave' energy towards patrons who are nursing empty glasses during peak hours.
Read full entry →The soul-crushing realization that a damp, one-bedroom shed costs twelve times your annual salary.
Read full entry →A cruel form of psychological torture where the promise of a lengthy, meaningful reply is abruptly dashed by a single letter.
Read full entry →The deliberate isolation of oneself inside a digital bubble where you never have to hear a disagreeing thought, leading to radicalization.
Read full entry →A deeply embarrassing relative who uses social media exclusively to broadcast unhinged, easily disprovable garbage to everyone you know.
Read full entry →The deployment of a single, dismissive consonant to completely invalidate another person's emotional vulnerability and end the argument.
Read full entry →The crushing weight of despair that drops onto your chest when you realize you have zero time to do any actual work today.
Read full entry →A moment of pure, homicidal tech-rage induced by a computer deliberately sabotaging you at the worst possible moment.
Read full entry →The desperate, petty pursuit of internet facts during a pub argument, driven purely by the desire to utterly humiliate a mate.
Read full entry →The manipulative, attention-seeking practice of writing dramatic statuses like 'Some people are just fake' and refusing to elaborate.
Read full entry →The deeply unfair and unprompted act of using a coworker, barista, or Tinder date as an unpaid, non-consensual therapist.
Read full entry →The crushing culinary deception experienced when dried grapes masquerade as chocolate chips.
Read full entry →A performance of intense concentration on a progress bar so coworkers think you are doing complex coding.
Read full entry →An aggressive, rapid-fire scanning technique by a supermarket employee that overwhelms the customer's bagging speed.
Read full entry →Highly professional language utilized specifically to highlight a colleague's spectacular incompetence.
Read full entry →The sudden, collective refusal of all group chat members to respond when asked for a concrete date or time.
Read full entry →The stealthy turn of the head to verify personal hygiene in a public space.
Read full entry →The stubborn refusal to make two trips, resulting in circulation loss to the fingers.
Read full entry →The baffling psychological desire to gently crush something because it is overwhelmingly adorable.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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