Managed tag
Entries relating to parents.
Suggested home: Family & parenting / Parents & adult children
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Filtered dictionary
A brief, cherished instance of approval from a person known for being extremely sparing with compliments.
Read full entry →Immediately suspicious of a message that departs from the group's usual casual, chaotic tone.
Read full entry →A disproportionately intense family conflict triggered by disputed house rules on free parking money.
Read full entry →Instinctively offering hot tea as the answer to every crisis, from minor inconvenience to genuine tragedy.
Read full entry →Stuck in an involuntary cycle of repeating the same recently discovered joke to every single person encountered.
Read full entry →Displaying unwavering DIY optimism regardless of the actual complexity or danger of the task at hand.
Read full entry →An apparently long-settled disagreement that reappears in conversation with startling, unexpected precision.
Read full entry →So painfully unfunny in construction that it achieves an unexpected, involuntary laugh from the listener.
Read full entry →A quiet, tactical act of Sunday dinner opportunism executed with minimal eye contact and maximum speed.
Read full entry →A sudden, visceral wave of parental panic triggered purely by caller ID, regardless of how minor the actual issue turns out to be.
Read full entry →A blessed, temporary ceasefire in a parent group chat that has otherwise generated ninety notifications in an hour.
Read full entry →A thinly veiled attempt to disguise minimum effort as generous contribution at a communal work lunch.
Read full entry →An annual traffic catastrophe caused entirely by parents driving children dressed as the Gruffalo to the school gates.
Read full entry →The delusional performance of general knowledge superiority achieved entirely from the safety of an armchair, under no pressure whatsoever.
Read full entry →A weekly televised ritual in which ordinary people become furious armchair politicians for exactly sixty minutes.
Read full entry →A guilty, sudden jerk to consciousness immediately followed by a defensive lie told by dads worldwide.
Read full entry →The absolute minimum physical effort required to register amusement at a terrible meme shown to you on a friend's phone.
Read full entry →An apocalyptic expulsion of air unique to fathers over fifty, delivered with zero warning and maximum decibels.
Read full entry →A squeaky, undignified vocal register that strips a human of all authority and self-respect in the presence of a fluffy animal.
Read full entry →A resounding, two-handed strike upon the denim of one's own legs, functioning as a non-verbal warning that you are about to stand up.
Read full entry →The arrogant, human defiance of algorithmic perfection, resulting in a 40-minute detour down a single-lane tractor path.
Read full entry →A lightning-fast digital assassination of evidence, performed to protect your personal brand from a highly unflattering angle.
Read full entry →The desperate, primate-like stretching of an arm towards the ceiling in a futile attempt to summon a data signal.
Read full entry →A vicious corporate phrase utilized to publicly shame a coworker who was clearly not paying attention during the meeting.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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