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Filtered dictionary
A brutal, real-time text-based heartbreak delivered in a small scrolling ticker at the bottom of the screen.
Read full entry →A glowing, real-time financial guilt trip mounted on the kitchen wall for all to see.
Read full entry →A sudden demand for visual presence sprung on employees who assumed they could get away with pyjamas today.
Read full entry →A frantic scramble through drawers for AA batteries occurring exclusively at the worst possible moment.
Read full entry →A deep, culturally specific disappointment felt when a hot drink arrives lukewarm and bagless in a foreign hotel.
Read full entry →A devastating workplace crisis in which a splash of curdled dairy ruins an entire mid-morning brew.
Read full entry →A cowardly written attack on a colleague's dairy habits, deployed instead of the far simpler option of just asking them.
Read full entry →The deeply British pastime of consuming other people's reactions to television as a superior form of television.
Read full entry →A fierce, semi-serious regional dispute over the correct topping for chips that has ended actual friendships.
Read full entry →The act of turning a trivial update into an unlistenable audio drama that recipients will avoid opening until Tuesday.
Read full entry →A non-committal gesture of recognition performed to avoid the crushing social cost of full eye contact with a near-stranger.
Read full entry →An excruciating biological betrayal where your body promises a satisfying nasal release, makes you pull a weird face, and delivers nothing.
Read full entry →The painful, throat-straining effort to maintain professional politeness when your body is desperately demanding oxygen.
Read full entry →The brutal, unspoken condemnation of a colleague whose hot beverage preparation methods resemble those of a sociopath.
Read full entry →The futile application of visual pressure to a household appliance out of desperate caffeine withdrawal.
Read full entry →A tragic miscalculation of structural integrity, leaving you with a mouthful of gritty, sweetened sludge.
Read full entry →The utterly foul, lazy act of burying biological waste beneath heavy appliances instead of bending down to pick it up.
Read full entry →The agonizing internal debate over whether to aggressively highlight that you only ate a side salad, or just eat the £80 loss to avoid looking cheap.
Read full entry →A traumatic auditory hallucination induced by corporate burnout, causing you to flinch when no computer is even in the room.
Read full entry →The humiliating process of proving to a teenage employee that you didn't steal a 20p loose carrot.
Read full entry →A polite managerial silencing tactic used to stop a difficult topic from being discussed in front of the rest of the team.
Read full entry →A terrifying acoustic event that prompts residents to army-crawl away from the windows to avoid interacting with whatever is on the porch.
Read full entry →The humiliating physical contest between a hungry human and a tightly wound piece of metal, usually ending with a bruised palm and a tea towel.
Read full entry →The risky, olfactory evaluation of an expired liquid to determine if you can avoid walking to the corner shop.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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