Topic
Broad classification for shopping & retail.
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Filtered dictionary
A public humiliation device installed in every supermarket designed to summon a single, visibly annoyed member of staff.
Read full entry →A globally recognized falsehood used to buy exactly twenty minutes of grace period while you frantically try to find your keys.
Read full entry →An automatic, defensive falsehood deployed to repel eager retail workers, even when you actually need help finding a size.
Read full entry →An aggressive, huffing noise designed to guilt the single teenage staff member into rushing over to approve your painkillers.
Read full entry →A tragic display of shopping hubris resulting in a customer dropping a cucumber and crushing a loaf of bread against their chin.
Read full entry →A disastrous logistical failure at the till, resulting in bread being crushed beneath six pints of milk and a melon.
Read full entry →The exhausting, bicep-burning fight against a rogue supermarket wheel that desires only to crash into the frozen peas.
Read full entry →A catastrophic domestic landslide caused by hoarding cheap takeaway tubs without any structural integrity.
Read full entry →An intense telepathic beam directed at a 17-year-old employee, begging them to clear the red flashing light above your till.
Read full entry →A panicked, disorganized clawing of personal items from the counter to avoid holding up the queue of glaring shoppers behind you.
Read full entry →The humiliating process of proving to a teenage employee that you didn't steal a 20p loose carrot.
Read full entry →A sudden, catastrophic failure of muscle memory occurring at the worst possible moment while a line of people waits behind you.
Read full entry →The humiliating, flashing-red freeze where you stand helpless while other shoppers judge you for buying age-restricted medicine.
Read full entry →The sickening, metallic scrape heard when trying to navigate a concrete corner designed for a 1980s Mini, not a modern SUV.
Read full entry →The manufactured peer pressure that makes you feel like a traitor for daring to go home at your contracted finishing time.
Read full entry →A deceitful errand run to secure a brief sanctuary of peace inside a parked car away from your family.
Read full entry →A loud, theatrical display of impatience meant to guilt an underpaid teenager into verifying your age faster.
Read full entry →The silent heartbreak of losing out on 4p worth of points because you forgot your wallet insert.
Read full entry →The tactical loitering in a supermarket used to wait out a slow shopper who is blocking the item you actually want.
Read full entry →The frantic realization at a supermarket till that you are going to have to buy ten plastic bags in front of a judgmental cashier.
Read full entry →A reflexive, defensive falsehood deployed to banish shop assistants, even when you desperately need to know where the shoes are.
Read full entry →The simmering, unvoiced hostility directed at a shopper who treats the supermarket floor like their personal parking space.
Read full entry →A violent, elbow-throwing battle royale that occurs in supermarkets when the staff member marks down the expiring chicken.
Read full entry →The aggressive, deeply uncomfortable breaching of a stranger's personal bubble at an ATM or supermarket till.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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