Topic
Broad classification for social life & etiquette.
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Filtered dictionary
A reflexive, meaningless verbal filler deployed to close out any conversation, transaction, or awkward silence.
Read full entry →A forced, low-stakes conversation conducted entirely through a mirror while trapped under a gown and scissors.
Read full entry →A public act of enthusiastic greeting immediately followed by the crushing realisation it was never meant for you.
Read full entry →An instinctive, near-telepathic ability to detect and join a line the second one begins forming, for reasons unknown.
Read full entry →A rhetorical greeting mistakenly interpreted as a genuine enquiry, resulting in unwanted emotional disclosure by the pool table.
Read full entry →A low-effort social manoeuvre in which a normal outfit is retroactively rebranded as an ironic character choice.
Read full entry →A non-committal gesture of recognition performed to avoid the crushing social cost of full eye contact with a near-stranger.
Read full entry →A completely fraudulent social pleasantry used to gracefully escape an awkward reunion on the high street.
Read full entry →A uniquely British hostage situation where neither party will accept fault, but both desperately want the last word of contrition.
Read full entry →The volcanic eruption of anger caused by a stranger's failure to acknowledge your unparalleled generosity in traffic.
Read full entry →The hollow, vocalized equivalent of a 'seen' receipt, utilized to gracefully terminate a horrifically unfunny conversation.
Read full entry →The intense regret of initiating a polite gesture too early, trapping yourself in an awkward stance for twenty seconds.
Read full entry →The humiliating scramble to retrieve a dropped 50p piece from the footwell while the driver behind you aggressively revs their engine.
Read full entry →A modern psychological affliction resulting from forced eye contact with a grid of badly lit coworkers.
Read full entry →The sudden, intense fascination with a blank lock screen to prevent an awkward sidewalk conversation.
Read full entry →A diplomatic shutdown phrase used to placate an idiot while firmly ensuring their idea never sees the light of day.
Read full entry →The polite but highly dangerous tilting of canopies on a narrow pavement to avoid taking out a stranger's eye.
Read full entry →A social script designed to gracefully exit a conversation with someone you have no intention of ever seeing again.
Read full entry →The highly intimate, involuntary physical contact required to reach the bar in a crowded establishment.
Read full entry →A greeting strictly meant to be answered with 'Yeah, you?', which becomes a hostage situation if answered honestly.
Read full entry →Rejecting hospitality purely out of manners, while desperately hoping the host asks a fourth time so you can say yes.
Read full entry →The deeply ingrained, entirely irrational British reflex to ask forgiveness from the person who just assaulted your toes.
Read full entry →A completely hollow, venomous apology offered purely to end an argument while making it clear you still think you are right.
Read full entry →A relentlessly dull individual whose entire personality has been replaced by macros, deadlifts, and unasked-for nutritional advice.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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