lactoblivion
The act of eating an entire tub of ice cream in a desperate attempt to heal your soul and numb your brain when you are completely sick and tired of everything.
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Broad classification for health, body & self-care.
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The act of eating an entire tub of ice cream in a desperate attempt to heal your soul and numb your brain when you are completely sick and tired of everything.
Read full entry →It's when you're just too tired to give a shit anymore.
Read full entry →The sudden, overwhelming flare of extreme anger triggered when a specific environmental stimulus (such as fluorescent lighting, flickering screens, or repetitive low-frequency hums) pushes sensory processing past its breaking point.
Read full entry →An entirely theatrical pause suggesting options still exist.
Read full entry →A dramatic conversational build-up to an opinion that surprises absolutely nobody.
Read full entry →The frantic, panic-inducing arithmetic performed in the middle of the night that only serves to keep you awake longer.
Read full entry →The pathetic, attention-seeking auditory performance of a man lifting a mildly heavy dumbbell while pretending he's giving birth.
Read full entry →Overstating the length or completion of a health-related January challenge that was, in reality, abandoned early.
Read full entry →Disproportionately satisfied with the neatness and precision of their own gift-wrapping technique.
Read full entry →A well-intentioned annual promise to oneself with a shelf life reliably measured in days, not months.
Read full entry →Overconfident about spatial orientation skills that are, empirically, consistently and thoroughly unreliable.
Read full entry →Successfully having a fabricated excuse accepted at face value without further probing or suspicion.
Read full entry →A brazen, entirely unconvincing dental falsehood told while sat in a chair with a light directly in your mouth.
Read full entry →A single, unexplained syllable of concern that instantly guarantees an expensive, unwelcome follow-up appointment.
Read full entry →A daily, high-stakes ritual of redialling repeatedly in a desperate bid to secure one of three available appointments.
Read full entry →The nationally practised skill of nodding knowingly at a rule almost nobody can actually explain correctly.
Read full entry →A hypnotic, entirely incomprehensible late-night broadcast that soothes millions of landlocked listeners into sleep.
Read full entry →The act of falsely promising yourself 'just one more episode' despite knowing the cliffhanger will ruin your sleep schedule.
Read full entry →An excruciating biological betrayal where your body promises a satisfying nasal release, makes you pull a weird face, and delivers nothing.
Read full entry →The painful, chest-bursting restraint of panting designed to trick a passing dog walker into thinking you are in peak athletic shape.
Read full entry →An eruption of internal anger at a robotic till that treats you like a criminal for scanning painkillers too quickly.
Read full entry →The silent battle of wills between pedestrians walking towards each other, resulting in a terrifying last-second sidestep.
Read full entry →The blood-sucking strategy of attaching oneself to competent people and taking full credit for their sleepless nights and hard work.
Read full entry →A common psychological trick where purchasing healthy greens offsets the guilt of a terrible diet, before letting them rot.
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